dinothesaurus

Sunday. The sun slants through the back french doors at this time of year, when the sun draws closer to the Earth and yet the air cools.
I wake up earlier than him: a welcome peace as I console myself from yesterdays small regrets, today's chores, the food I will eat and the food I will avoid eating, the current news, the mayoral debate on TV - I can filter through these, like the hot water seeping through the coffee grounds.
At any rate, the trees are yellow. And red, but I see mostly yellow outside my window.
Time for an english muffin

which I made myself *squeal*

and coffee or tea. Maybe an apple.

That's how Sunday goes.

Today there is cool with wind wanting to fly low through every street in the entire metro area. There is so much ground for it to cover in one day. It reminds me of coming across a wide open space, like a fallow field with low grass, or the flat wet beach when the tide is out. Something cold in the air wants to run, and I'm happy to be a part of that as my hair whips across my cheek.

It's a great day to work on a simple project. I went to Lowe's and bought some rabbit fencing to put around the porch. That way the cats can go outside but not slip through the slats in the existing fence. Hopefully that will at least prevent them from falling four stories.

I was cutting wire, so now my hands are raw and smell like metal. That's ok. It makes me feel like I'm doing yard work.

This morning we enjoyed playing with the new Wii Fit that Jacob's parents bought him. That might be the start of something good. And tonight we begin Rosetta Stone Spanish instruction. It's expensive so I hope we can keep up with it.

But overall, I am thinking of one thing; to get out of town. I can't wait for that to happen.

This morning was the first morning I felt the real physical feeling of summer in Atlanta. Either the bare heat or the humidity lays a fever on me that doesn't abate until October or so. And summers here are characterized by such darkness. There is something about the ivy, the kudzu, all the walls of dark green broad leaves, that gives me the impression of being encapsulated in muggy shadow.

And considering the traffic, which is something all Atlantans must consider even for the smallest of errands, I am not where I want to be right now.

Complaining about the city is only a symbol for the broader problem of not liking where I am in life. Career-wise. Because I have so many wonderful options...But I won't start on that. That's a problem that is only complicated by writing. My problem is one that can only be solved by focused brainstorming, research, and direct action. In this mood, journaling only leads to endless circles of value questions and self-doubt.

Let me do what I can do today. I have felt like writing again for whatever reason. So I am resurrecting dinothesaurus.

We have a good day planned for today. Jacob is taking his mom out to the Braves' game for Mother's Day. His Dad, Erik and Kelly and I will be there too. Yesterday the Diamondbacks killed us, but we won the first game in the series so hopefully we can play more like the first game and less like yesterday. Of course, it's really not that important to me. I just like sitting in the ballpark and watching the players.

We bought Kitty Boy a carpeted staircase to help him get on the sofa with his arthritic hips. We opened the thing and put it together in the living room. As predicted, Miss Cleo thinks it is for her and has been posing on it ever since.

Jacob's alarm is about to go off. I better go turn it off for him, or maybe move it across the room so he has to get up and do it.

And that's about as deep as I'll self-disclose today. When I have a real problem that requires future action I am hesitant to say what I am thinking, because my mind is basically skipping over the outer reaches of a web chart right now. The final decision is in the center, but my method goes in a slow spiral, passing and including many contradictions.

There's the alarm.

Wolfram Alpha's stated goal is "to make all systematic knowledge immediately computable by anyone."



Why is that so funny?

"Wherever the antivital fanaticism of the male spiritual principle predominates, the Feminine is looked upon as negative and evil, precisely in its character of creator, sustainer, and increaser of life. Now life - and the Feminine is its archetype - is said to fascinate and hold fast, to lure and enchant. The natural drives and instincts overpower the human and the male principle of light and consciousness by means of the web of life, the veil of Maya, the 'ensnaring' illusion of life in this world. And consequently this male principle of consciousness, which desires permanence and not change, eternity and not transformation, law and not creative spontaneity, 'discriminates' against the Great Goddess and turns her into a demon.

But in so doing the male consciousness totally overlooks the hidden spiritual aspect of the feminine principle, which through spiritual transformation exalts earthly man to a higher meaning."

~ from The Great Mother by Erich Neumann

(Can't wait to hear his version of higher meaning.)

º Taken from bed in January of 2007, just getting over the flu. This picture says so much about January to me: "Fresh!" "Crispy cold!"

º Can't you see and smell and feel new things coming?

º Health, prosperity, peace, love, and deeper learning: all the things I wish for for 2008 - for myself and for you as well.